Posted by: Paul | July 22, 2010

Conversations with a Two-Year-Old: Cheese and Rice

Adam and I are still fighting the battle of the afternoon nap. At Grandma and Grandads – fine. At home – no dice.

This morning, being the first of the summer holidays proper and with all our normal activities suddenly halting for no good reason, we bravely decamped to the zoo. Surprisingly, it was actually very quiet for the time of year, and the expected crowds had not even really materialised by the time we left. We spent an enjoyable few hours wandering around, specifically wanting to visit the three new lions. For the first time, I elected not to bring the buggy, and impressively Adam walked almost everywhere, with me carrying him on my shoulders the rest of the time.

Anyway, the short version means that I was tired by the time we got home, and if I was tired, he must be tired. He made all the usual noises about wanting a nap after lunch, so I thought I would try the Grandad approach – lying down with him and taking a nap myself. All well and good, except while I drifted peacefully off, he did no such thing. I’m even willing to bet he waited until I was asleep before getting up.

It was actually the silence which woke me. When you’re a parent, you learn quickly that it’s when you can’t hear them that they’re making trouble. I heard a faint scribbling sound, and thought ‘Phew, he’s just drawing at the desk in the spare room.’

I followed the sound and sure enough, there he was, at the computer cabinet, usual highlighter pens in hand. Except that this time, the scribbling was all over the cabinet itself and, more worryingly, all over him. He was covered in green, pink and orange highlighter.

I flung him straight in the bath to rinse him down, and noticed that in addition to the highlighters, on his legs he had used biro. Hard enough to leave marks.

“Jesus Christ!” I exclaimed.

“Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Hahahaha!”

Uh oh. Better think fast.

“Um…that’s right Adam! Cheeses! Cheese and Rice!”

“Cheese and Rice! Cheese and Rice!”

A sigh of relief…and a stark warning. Think I got away with it?

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