Posted by: Paul | April 11, 2010

The Boat Sinks

Don’t you hate it when people spoil the end of things for you? If you do, I suggest you stop reading this post now and go and do something else until tomorrow.

My wife was on the receiving end of a big spoiler this week. We were picking Adam up from nursery on Tuesday afternoon and one of the other Dads was there, chatting to the nursery assistants (I’m at a loss what to call them other than that? Nursery nurses is too much nurse, and besides that they’re not actual nurses anyway. Carers? Too ‘New Age’. Care Assistants? Too mental health).

He was asking them if they’d seen the last episode of A Touch Of Frost, which came to it’s final resting place on Monday. They said they hadn’t, and before any of them could say ‘…but I videoed it’, he launched into a detailed explanation of the plot, including what happened at the end. For those not spoiler sensitive, he got shot apparently. When we got outside, Ali said “Well, I don’t need to watch it now.” We of course had recorded it and Ali was looking forward to it (I could care less frankly – some detective shows I like, Waking The Dead for one, but I can take or leave Frost).

We have a phrase to describe this in our house – “By the way, The Boat Sinks”. Of course this is after Titanic – the one movie it’s impossible to spoil the end of. But how annoying is it when that happens! I’ve been on the receiving end many times, but probably the most memorable instance of this for me is when I inflicted it on someone else. It was a former colleague, who was reading Glen David Gold’s Carter Beats The Devil. It’s one of my favourite books, and I was so excited to see someone else reading it that I blurted out, without either thinking or checking how far he was through it: “Have you got to the bit where his wife dies?” Donut.

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